Home-Maid

Ok so, in the Middle-East, maids are very commonplace. Anyone from the paupers to the wealthy and everyone in between could employ them, and some people do and others don't. Having a maid is by no means some sort of status symbol. Ultimately it's a personal decision and the choice of the family looking to employ one. Everyone has a different situation though, so basing one's decision on other people's experiences may not always work.

I've heard stories of families choosing not to have a maid because they like taking care of their own house and family, they feel uncomfortable with a stranger in their home, there is no need for one, etc. etc. the list goes on and on. I've also heard of varying experiences that families have had who have chosen to employ a maid. Everything from firing the maid because the woman of the household felt her to be a threat to her marriage to having the most amazing maid that she has become part of the family!

There's this new book that's out now called "An Unsolicited Gift," by psychiatrist Dr. Dennis Friedman and it claims that boys who are raised by maids or nannies will grow up to be womanizers! The reason behind this theory is based on the idea that the child will get used to the fact that two women are taking care of him; one woman is his mother, the one he admires and respects and the other is the one who takes care of all the physical things, prepares meals, cleans the house, does the laundry and other chores. Having grown up in an environment where he has seen that it takes more than one woman to take care of him, the son, now a married adult, may seek out another woman, outside his marriage. Dr. Friedman also mentions that when a girl is raised with a nanny, a "cascade of need" is created where some females might later fill in with detrimental relationships, drugs and alcohol. Why the negativity?? Can't they fill this need with things that are fulfilling and proactive? Dr. Friedman's does, however, say that it would be "safe" to get hired help after the first year.

In Islam, cheating on a spouse is haram and forbidden. So as not to form an illicit relationship, among other reasons, a man is allowed to marry up to four wives, so long as he is able to treat all of them fairly and equally and is able to support all of them financially as well. And of course, pre-marital relationships, alcohol and drugs are all forbiddenn as well. So, I guess the most important thing to note is having a stable familial base and teaching strong moral values might be what effects a child the most.

Maid or no maid, Insha'Allah our children, brothers, sisters, cousins, all grow up to be intelligent, stable-minded, rational adults who are able to make the right decisions in life. Ameen!